Jacob and Elijah Shaddox are brothers. Jacob is 21 years old and just moved into an apartment with his girlfriend. He graduated from a technical college with an Associate's degree in Computer Maintenance. He works for a school district as a computer technician. Elijah is almost 18 years old. He is hearing impaired, has Tourette Syndrome, OCD and ADHD. He is a junior in high school. Elijah lives with his mom Mary and her wife, his stepmom. Mary has a bachelor's in deaf education and a masters in special education, and is an educational diagnostician. Life is always changing and this blog has chronicled many of these changes and will continue to do so!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Raising Children part 2

As I laid in bed last night, I was thinking about what I had posted in my blog. There was something missing, something I had not written down at the time because I couldn't really put my finger on it. As I ws laying in bed, going over all of it, it came to me. JOY! That is what I had missed. Having a user's manual would take away all oft he JOY that comes with having a child.

What do I mean by Joy? I mean the joy of seeing your child crawl for the first time or even just smile. The joy of the first word and the first step. The joy of the first day of school to the first date! If I had a user's manual then I would know the exact day they would accomplish these milestones and it would not be such a joy to experience them. Of course, by taking the joy I take the sadness. The days when they are sick or break a limb and you have to take them to the ER. The sadness of losing a pet or a friend moving. If we want the joy then we have to accept the trade off of sadness. I do think it is worth it, this trade off.

I used to wonder why my mother worried so much about me. Why she wanted me to check in when I was at a friend's house or when I travelled to college to check in. Now I know, parents never stop worrying. Even when that child is 18 and going off to college, the worry never stops, but neither does the joy. The joy continues also. The joy of graduating from high school and then college. The joy of a first job and of becoming a grandparent. With joy comes worry and we have to accept both.

I think I can do that, but it doesn't mean it is eay.

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