I have been thinking a lot about my Grandpa McGowan. He died back in 1991. He was a great Grandpa. He and my grandmother would pick us up all the time and take us to the movies. We would go and stay at their house and get to play doing a variety of things. They were great grandparents. I am lucky enough to still have my grandmother with me. She lives in Alabama and I talk to her often!
My grandfather died before I got married and I really missed having him there. He was a great dancer and so much fun to be around. He loved babies and always had a baby in his hands if there was one around. After Jacob was born in 1996, I was completely overwhelmed with this new baby. I was tired and stressed. I remember thinking what the heck was I thinking having this baby. I will not be a good mother. I went to bed one night just so worried about Jacob and how I could handle things. I had a dream about my grandfather. I remember that many of my cousins were in this dream and we were playing in the front yard of my grandparent's house. Something happened and I got hurt. My grandfather ran to me and told me, "Everything will be ok!". I woke up from that dream with a sense of peace. I truly felt my grandfather's presence with me. I have not dreamed of him since that time.
Elijah has been going through so much lately and I do feel overwhelmed by him. I thought of that dream with my grandfather and how it was like his angel visited me that night. It helps me to remember that yes, everything will be OK, just like my grandfather told me in the dream. Even though I have not had another dream about him, I know he is with me. He is with me through my grandmother and my mom and through all of my aunts and uncles. He is with me through their memories, but I also think he is with me in spirit. He will guide me and show me through with the help of God's hands. It brings me peace!
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