Growing Up is Hard to Do!

Jacob has learned two important lessons this week! First, he decided to transfer money from his savings to his checking account one too many times and was charged a $6 fee. I caught it when I was double checking his accounts. He was not too happy that he had to "pay" to use his own money. I went up to the bank and they gave him his money back and we set up his account, so he can have more transfers. I didn't tell him that though! I am trying to instill in him that a savings account is for savings!

Jacob was then at work last night, and when he went to come home, his car wouldn't start. I got a call from him around 10:45 to tell me that it wouldn't start. I went to pick him up and we decided to handle it this morning. It looked like the battery was the problem, but we weren't sure. Thankfully, the parking lot where the car was is very close to an auto shop. We went here first and the mechanic and Jacob walked over to the car. The mechanic took a jump starter kit with them. The car started and they drove it back over. It was the battery! I paid to get it replaced and he will pay me back half.

I am glad these things happened while he was home and not away at college. He is learning how to take responsibility and grow up.

First Week of School for ALL of Us!

Jacob, Elijah and I all started school this past Monday. Now, I am a teacher, so many of you may think that I just went back to teaching. I also started GRAD school this past Monday online through Texas Tech! I didn't even get to look at my assignments until Monday night, and by then I thought I was crazy for even trying.

Let's backtrack a little, though. Jacob had a great start to school. He is now OFFICIALLY a SENIOR! How did that happen?? He likes all of his classes and really likes his computer maintenance class. He gets out of school at 2:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays! He is still working at Albertsons, but only two days a week!

Elijah started seventh grade at the junior high school. He also had a great first week of school. He is using his status sheet again, and had NO REDS! He can earn a green, yellow or red for each class. If he gets all greens he can have the iPad that night. We also count the number of greens he gets each week and he can earn a trip to SWEET FROG for frozen yogurt or something else we decide on!

Now, let's get back to me! I rarely get to talk about ME! I am taking two online classes through Texas Tech to earn my Masters in Special Education and Diagnostician's Certificate! I am finding both classes very interesting. As of today, I have all of my lessons for this week turned in and have started my lessons for next week! My plan is to stay ahead, so that way I don't have to rush! I have observation hours I need to complete, but can use all of my hours from teaching last year towards that, so that is a load off of my mind.

I am so caught up this morning, that I even worked on a Power Point lesson for one of the new deaf ed. teachers in my district. I'll be home this morning, and then Elijah and I are going to the library this afternoon. I figure I can work there on my laptop and he can play in the Teen Center. It works out good for both of us!

I'll try to keep y'all posted on how we are doing, but if you don't hear much from me then I AM BUSY!

Nobody Seems To Get It!

I don't think anyone really understands what it is like to have a child with Tourette Syndrome. Unless you have a child with Tourettes or a neurological disorder, you just don't get it. Elijah has to have consistency. I can't waiver from that. I can't compromise and let him have one day where I waiver from the "rules" I have established. Through trial and error and a LOT of rough days, I have learned this. It may seem like a good idea to compromise and give in so things run smooth during that moment, but then I pay for it for several days. I leave to go out of town for three days tomorrow. I can't waiver at this point. I can't compromise, or the person keeping him will have a rough three days. I can't think of what is right in the moment, I have to think of what is right for the long haul. I guess it is OK that people don't get it, but don't think I am too hard on him, because I am not.

The Jigsaw Puzzle

The boys and I went out shopping the other day and on a whim we decided to buy a jigsaw puzzle. I let Jacob choose the puzzle and he went for this one, which is 2000 pieces. I thought, no problem we can do this and I still think we can, but it may take all summer!  I remember doing puzzles with my mom when I was a kid, and how much I enjoyed it. I thought it might also teach Elijah some patience, but so far he is just wearing on my patience! We will keep trying though. I have found that working on the puzzle gives Jacob and I a chance to talk. It also gets him off of the laptop for an hour or so a day, which is a good thing. He will be 16 next month and he is just growing up too fast. I have to make this time with him! We had an interesting conversation last night while working on the puzzle. We were listening to the news and the story was about the two dads in the Target circular in the newpaper. People were upset that there were two dads that were together as a couple. I didn't say much and then Jacob said, "What's the big deal? People just need to learn to be tolerant." He also shared that some other kids at school call him a "Ginger", because of his red hair. I had seen a story about this on "What would you do?" that comes on most Friday night. I asked him what he does when he is called that, and he said he ignores them. He said that they are just ignorant and don't know better. It was a good conversation and I was glad we had it.

Now back to the puzzle! Another tips when purchasing a puzzle, be sure you have a big enough table. As you can see we haven't gotten very far on the puzzle! You might also be able to see the board we had to buy at Home Depot, so we can move it off the table when we need to eat! We are still missing some edges, but hopefully we will find them soon. I hope to have more conversations with both boys as we sit around the table this summer working on this puzzle! I'll post more pictures as we make more progress. 

A Much Better Week!

I am happy to say that Elijah had a much better week at school this past week. He earned many more "greens" than "reds or yellows". He had no aggression at school and just some yelling. He did refuse to work quite a bit today, but we will just have to work on that too. He earned a LOT of tickets and got the privilege of using his electronics. Needless to say, he was very happy! He also gets to stay home with his brother tomorrow while I run errands. However, if he doesn't follow the schedule then he will have to go with me on Sunday! I think that is some good motivation!

Monday is the start of a new week and he will start all over again! I have to remain consistent and follow through. It can work, but boy it can be tiring! He is worth it though!

On Lockdown!

Elijah is on lock down right now. His behavior at school has been awful. They had benchmark testing for four days and that may be part of it, but I really don't know what to do. I went to pick him up for his doctor's appointment last week and the principal happened to see me. She mentioned an incident from that morning and that is what has him on lock down.

He has a status sheet each day at school that has a list of his classes. He can earn a green or move to yellow or red. He used to be able to earn his way back to green, but I told the principal to try letting him stay on yellow or red, if that is what he earns, then that is what he gets. He earns ten tickets for a green, five for yellow and zero for red. He then has to "pay" for electronic usage and toys at home with his tickets. Oh and I also cleaned out his room, so he really does HAVE to pay for his toys. The only thing he gets for "free" are books and crayons. If he has any acts of aggression he loses electronics for two days. Needless to say, he has lost all electronics until Monday and even then he has to have a good day to get the privilege of using them. I guess you could say I am running my own behavior unit at home.

Elijah has come a long way, but he still has a long way to go. He went with me on my mystery shopping run today. He was in the car with me for five hours. He was bored to death, but that is the point, isn't it. I also had a long talk with Jacob about how he reacts to Elijah. Now typical brothers can get into arguments and older brothers are known to be bossy, but all of us have got to watch how we talk in the house. Elijah carries over yelling and being bossy to school. That just doesn't work with a teacher and he can't differentiate all of that. Jacob has really put forth some great effort in improving how he handles things with Elijah. It isn't easy for him...he is only 15 and a boy! He has had to grow up quickly and I love him even more for it! I love my Elijah too, but I sometimes wonder if I can keep this up. I have good friends and a good support system with one of them. She helps me deal with all of this!

I'll keep you all posted! I have my drill sergeant's hat on and I am ready to enforce the rules. Consistency is the key!

Personal Responsibility

I have had two occasions this week to consider personal responsibility. I hope I can explain what I mean. The first time I thought about this was when someone posted on a cochlear implant list serve about getting a school district to pay for an FM system for the child to use at day care and at home. This costs around $2400 for the district and about $3000 for a parent to buy privately. The school does get a small discount. Now I am a firm believer in FM systems. What an FM does is bring the speaker's voice out over the background noise and make distance listening a non issue. An FM receiver attaches to the child's hearing aid or processor and the speaker wears a microphone.

I am such a strong believer in FM systems that we did purchase one for Elijah at home. Fortunately, our insurance paid $1000 for it, an online charity paid $1250 and a charity here in Dallas paid the balance off. However, this was a three month long process and nothing was set in stone. I didn't expect the school district to provide this for my son at home. Elijah does have an FM system at school to use. Like anything else, if we want the "best" for our kids then sometimes we need to purchase these things and not expect a school district or anyone else to financially be responsible for that. We got the FM for home use when he started playing soccer at the age of seven.

http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=145401&provider=top&catid=18
Please copy and paste this link, I can never get this thing to work on here.

The above link takes you to a story about a 12 year old whose CI processor was stolen while he was swimming out of a locker that wasn't locked. The mother had not purchased the extended warranty and loss/damage protection after the three year coverage expired. My heart breaks for this child, but again who is responsible for this. Shouldn't the parent have educated this child on the importance of protecting his processor. My son at the age of ten KNOWS to put his processors in "a safe place" when we go to grandpa's to swim. If I sign and ask him where they are he tells me. However, I as the the parent am the person who is ultimately responsible for his equipment. This is almost $8000 worth of equipment and it should be treated with respect. I never leave it up to him to make sure it is safe and I have always kept his processors protected under warranty and loss/damage coverage. THIS IS HOW HE communicates and makes his way in the world. It is not a video game or cell phone that can easily be replaced. A person's health insurance may or may not cover a replacement and even if they do it may take TIME to get a replacement.

Now maybe I am being harsh and maybe parents have not been educated. I recently went to the Statewide Conference on the Education of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing. I went as a teacher, but have often thought of being a presenter for parents on the COST of raising a child with a cochlear implant. Parents should be educated when their child is implanted on the financial life long implications. That after three years a decision needs to be made about purchasing an extended warranty and loss/damage protection. What happens IF this is not purchased. That some home owners insurance MAY cover it, some may not and how long will that take. That there are upgrades every 4-6 years and the cost involved with that. JUST in general that this is a LIFE LONG issue, not just one surgery(maybe two!).

The cochlear implant has been a wonderful tool in my son's life and I cannot imagine him NOT having it. It is such a part of his life that I would never want him to go without it just because we couldn't afford the warranty or loss/damage insurance. I don't like credit cards but that is how I paid for his recent upgrade and with that upgrade getting a new three year warranty and loss/damage coverage. ALSO, if we ever have to use that loss/damage that there is a $100 deductable that has to be paid. The new processor carries what is left of the warranty, but THEN A NEW loss/damage coverage must be purchased through a separate company. It runs about $200 a year, but much better than having to spend almost $8000 to replace a processor.

I don't want to offend anyone. I am a single mom of two boys. Elijah is hearing impaired, asthmatic, has tourette syndrome, OCD and ADHD. He is an expensive child, but I don't think I would change a thing(well maybe just one thing, the tourettes, just for him not for my benefit). I am in debt due to all of these things and an exhusband who is trying to get on his feet financially. I am thankful for good health insurance a good job that pays me a decent living, but by no means enough to cover all of these medical issues. I am a middle middle-class mom who doesn't expect someone to bail me out for either a bad decision or an uneducated decision. At some point we all need to take responsibility for the decisions we make!