Sometimes.....

Sometimes, I wish Elijah was just deaf. Dealing with his deafness has been relatively easy, when compared to dealing with his behavior due to his Tourette Syndrome, OCD and ADHD issues. Most people understand that he is deaf. His cochlear implant processor are a clear indication that he can't hear. However, he hears everything while wearing them and does pretty well with communication. Explaining his other issues is more difficult sometimes.

Just yesterday we went to the library. They have a teen room that he enjoys going to and I have let him have some independence and let him go by himself. They have video games and laptops the kids can use. I spend about 20 minutes in the recreation center working out and then check on him. I then stay in the library so I can keep an eye on him. I usually check on him after about 45 minutes and then we head home. A few days ago, when I entered, he was being asked to be quiet. OK, no big deal. We discussed it and how he needs to behave. Well, yesterday they moved the Teen room to a larger room. They had board games, along with the video games, a raffle, and some snacks. I checked on him after about 20 minutes and he was doing fine. I then told one of the librarians where I would be, and went to read some of the newspapers. I came back after about 30 minutes and started looking for him. Well, one of the librarians found me. They told me he was a bit aggressive, pushing some other kids. He didn't understand that he couldn't just have one of the raffle items. He was now crying and trying to get his way using tears. He does get a bit of sympathy due to his deafness and people will give him a little leeway, but only so far. I thanked the librarians and we left.

Elijah and I talked about his behavior. I told him that he could no longer stay in the teen room while I went to the recreation center. I told him we could go to the rec center together and then I would go to the library with him. I would let him go in the teen room alone, but check on him every ten minutes. This would allow him to "practice" how to behave. He could stay for 30 minutes and then we would visit on another day. I have found that if he practices an activity, he does better. We can then move up to me checking on him every 15 minutes and so one. We can then work on him staying for 45 minutes.

When he has done well in the teen center, I come in and he is playing with other kids. No one has teased him or made him feel uncomfortable. I am glad this is a "safe" place for him to play, but it also not a daycare. As his mom, I have to help him learn to be around others. The only way his behavior can improve is if he practices how to behave and learns what is acceptable.

I really don't mind having this "duty" as his mom, but there are days when I wish I could just be a typical mom and not have to PLAN all of this out. I love him though, and he is worth it!

Sugar AGAIN!

Elijah had another good week at school. He hasn't been able to buy ice cream since we figured out that sugar is NOT good for him. He has had a pretty good weekend, until today. He was argumentative this afternoon and back to being just a pain in the rear. He argued with me any chance he could get and had to get the last word in. Later, after my partner came home we figured out he had snuck into our room at SOME point today and gotten into chocolate. We are not sure how much chocolate, but I guess enough to put him IN THIS MOOD. Just more of a confirmation to me, that a large amount of sugar is not good for him.

Let's just say, I don't take all sugar away from him, but I try to keep it to a minimal. This is especially true on school days. He has sugar free syrup with his waffles or pancakes in the morning. He has low calorie cookies in his lunch if he takes it. He does get chocolate milk at school, but just a pint. Let's just say, these small amounts of sugar are not good for him. Ice cream, doughnuts, candy, and a few other foods affect him badly. Sometimes we just have these days, and at least we have figured out what triggers it.

Sugar!

In yesterday's blog I mentioned that I thought the sugar from the doughnuts affected Elijah and made him arguementative. Well, today he got in trouble for hitting another student. The principal called me and he has consequences at school and I had some for him at home. I told her I was going to check online and see what he ate for lunch. I can check through the online parent page for the school district. He had a LARGE ice cream and chocolate milk. Both of these things have SUGAR! I emailed the principal to see if there was any way to monitor what Elijah eats in the cafeteria. She was going to check with the cafeteria manager.

When the principal and I talked about the incident at school, I asked how he reacted when she came and got him. He calmed down a great deal faster and was better behaved than he had been in the past. This was very good to hear. She also said he got back to work and very focussed on his work. I do think the new medication is helping a great deal, but we still have to be diligent with everything! Hopefully, he will have a better day tomorrow. Up until he hit the kid, he had had a good day! I guess that counts for something!

October is almost over!

October has been a very long month, both at work and at home. Elijah has been doing OK since we I last posted, but just OK. He has had some very good days and some other days that have not been so great. Overall, it is still better than last year, but we have seen a bit of aggression. I called the doctor this past week and we increased one of his medications by 0.5 mg. I am hoping that helps him a bit. I know a lot of this is his OCD and not being able to "let things go" once the thought is in his head. I have the same thing, but as and adult can deal with it a lot better!

Jacob is doing awesome right now. He is very aware of his grades and keeping them up. He earned money being a referee for soccer. He is participating in ROTC and enjoying that. He is taking more responsibility for his chores around the house and his manners have improved a great deal! Yesterday he earned $30 refereeing and after we picked him up we headed to Target. He usually puts all of the money he earns in his savings account, but today he asked if he could spend it. I told him he could and so he went off to look for what he wanted and we went and shopped. We met up at the front after we had all checked out. I asked him what he got and he said a belt. I was surprised he had not asked me to buy him a belt. He then said, "I also bought a small Lego kit for Elijah." He amazes me daily and he is growing into such a fine young man.

All of us are looking forward to having the week of Thanksgiving off. We do have a few doctor's appointments that week, but it shouldn't be too bad. We will most likely go to my mom's house for the day. We will then be on the count down to Christmas. I have already started with some shopping for the boys!

Who Flipped the Switch?

I swear, Elijah has a switch somewhere on him and someone just FLIPS IT OFF or ON, not sure which one and he turns into a different child. I guess this is life with someone with a neurological condition. It is something that I try to understand on a daily basis. I can usually wrap my brain around it the majority of the time, but some days are harder than others.

Today was one of these days. Elijah had an iffy day at school and there was aggression involved. He grabbed something out of a teachers hand and also took off and left the classroom. He kicked a desk and stuck his finger in another student's face. ARGH! We just went to the psychiatrist back on September 24th and the neurologist on Oct. 3rd and all was good. We had his IEP meeting on the first of this month and talked about how good he was doing. I swear this happens every time we go to any doctor or have a meeting at school. This time it was both!

I took away his electronics(Wii, iPad and nintendo) for the weekend and also no TV. I may give the TV back on Sunday, if he is good tomorrow. Things could have been worse at school, and I know this. They also had a different schedule today and that may be why he was "off". All I can do is take it day by day! I am also hoping someone flips that switch back to where it should be.