What if?

So many of us goes through life wondering, “What if?” on so many things. What if I had left earlier, would I have been in that wreck I just passed? What if I won a million dollars in the lottery? I used to ask myself that “What if” question quite a bit. My questions were wrapped around Elijah:

What if Elijah had not been premature?

What if he had not been deaf?

What if he could have been implanted earlier than 18 months of age?

What if he had not had tourette syndrome along with OCD and ADHD?

Like I said, I used to ask myself these questions a lot, along with some other typical “What if” type questions. However, as time has passed I have learned that I cannot dwell on the “What ifs”. These questions get me nowhere and only cause me to dwell on what could have been then on what can be! I have learned to accept Elijah for who he is. We have not had to deal with all of this at once, thankfully. Elijah’s deafness and prematurity came first! Tourettes, OCD and ADHD came later.

We are on a journey and sometimes it is a fun one and sometimes it can be quite scary. Jacob is part of that journey with us and he makes it even more interesting. He is the typical older brother with Elijah but he also watches out for him. He is a great help to me and a great son! I cannot imagine my life without either of my boys and so I cannot dwell on the “what ifs” either, because what if they had not come into my life. That is unimaginable.

Now, I still do daydream about the lottery! I have all kinds of plans IF I were to win that!!!